Trying to recover

I'm a stubborn fool. I'm trying to recover from this inflammation, by taking lots of water and vitamin Cs while the sickness is in the initial stage. I've done it before, and i [hope] to do it again... I'm looking forward to Bangkok so badly!! Kinda worried now that i'll be sick when i go... Think i'm gonna see a doc the moment it gets worse.
Meanwhile, i'm so bloody sick of work. Been surfing for little travel guides about Bangkok, including the nightlife , which looks pretty exciting!
I'm gonna buy some 4D ... hopefully can get lucky and win some extra money to fund my trip...
ahhhhhh i feel so confined. After doing some soul searching recently, i realize i may not have been myself lately... rather, i've been trying to live according to others' standards. Maybe it's because of this lack of identity, i seem to be pretty lonely... Then again, i can't deny the fact that i've been shutting people out of my life.. i hav'nt been giving anyone a chance to enter and be a part of my life. Selfish? maybe.. I think it's a form of self-defence that i've learnt to develop after these years... That the only person that you can rely on, is yourself. But this can't go on forever... i don't think humans were meant to live alone. Adam had Eve, and vice versa. But now that i've wanted to start opening up, i'm having difficulty finding people.
Sometimes i think i suck in life... seriously... with all my talents and abilities, they seem to be good for nothing at all...

posted by Frederico @ 11:30 AM